Congratulations, Stephen Colbert

My salute to Christine

I'm not nearly as creative as Christine with online tributes. This is the best I can do until my coworkers teach me Italian, Turkish, Spanish, and/or German cuss words. I'm not going to say that these pictures reminded me of Christine, but I think she will appreciate them. Since she's the only person that still checks this blog, that's all that matters. :)


Ah, yes. When I want tea, I know I want PURE LUST. If this tea is pure lust, then wow am I disappointed. And who thinks of strawberry rhubarb as pure lust?

I'm pretty sure the Germans next to me in the store thought I was crazy when I burst into laughter when I saw this box. In one box you can try white and dark chocolate. Interesting... I'd also like to point out that the regular, larger Dickmanns are all dark chocolate. Are they trying to say something?

Springfield?

Yes, this is where I live. Don't be jealous. I think the best part of this picture is the WHA?! at the end. :)

Si

This weekend's adventure: a day trip to Nuremberg (or Nürnberg if you want to keep it authentic). Some of the highlights: I had someone tell me I speak the best kind of English because I'm from Illinois. No joke... the tour guide said he thought that was the most non-regional accent. Sweet... I also think I may have been asked how much I cost after being stranded outside of a sex store. It's hard to say because I don't speak that kind of German.

I witnessed the two people I was with display some of the behavior that may cause German to hate Americans. :) Examples:

German tourist: blah blah something not in English blah blah
Soldier 1: Si.
Soldier 2: Dude, remember? You're in Germany.

Soldier 1: Tara, how do you say two?
Tara: Zwei.
Soldier 1 (to ticket agent): Zwei tour thingie (crazy gestures).
Ticket agent: Um... we're full.

I wonder how this would go over in the States... and shouldn't it be schwarze Musik?


For my Lutheran friends...


This is as close to a cheerleading pose as you'll ever get from me. Frankly I can't believe I'm putting it on the internet. I'd have climbed the wall for real, but I'm a midget and my legs hurt after climbing a steep hill to get up to that freakin castle.


I like to think that this ivy was here back in the day for climbing. I got to the second floor before they made me stop.

F$&@*% Germans!

I spent most of Saturday pissed off at all Germans. The phrase of the day is the title of this post... Obviously without the mom censoring. In a nutshell: Saturday I had to find a new way to drive to Hanau because there's a super annoying stoplight (one of those lights that lets traffic go only one way because of construction). I was sick of waiting 10 minutes for a red light! Anyway... I'm approaching another small town and there's a car on my ass. I've been driving here for a month and I'm now fairly used to cramming my car into small places and having people ride my tail. This guy was close enough that it still freaked me out. Anyway... I brake twice and he about hit me both times so I go flying into this town. I see the flash from the speedcheck camera and look in my rearview mirror to see 4 Germans partying like it's New Years. Apparently these cameras only catch the first car that goes through. This would explain why I can't wait to get German plates on my car...

Obviously I was not pleased about this--my face was red for hours and I'm pretty sure my blood pressure was at unhealthy levels. I pick up my friend to go to Wiesbaden (which is about an hour away) because I need to return a piece of crap webcam ($90 wasted!!!) I get there to find out that there's a 14 day return policy and I couldn't have even returned it after it was opened anyway. Great. Next I go to get an elliptical machine only to find out I can't get it because the warehouse is closed for the day (which is about an hour before it was technically supposed to close...) Basically I got a $150 ticket, wasted gas, and (possibly) will have my license suspended for a month for nothing. Ah yes, I forgot to mention that... since I was going about twice the speed limit, I may get my license suspended. I'm already crafting excuses and will deny it happened. Hopefully the polizei don't read blogs. Maybe they won't be able to track me down or the ticket will get lost in the mail. Oooh, or maybe they let you get away with one ticket. Then I come down from the clouds and remember I'm in Germany: land of overcharging Americans and "shoot now, ask questions later" police. Whee!

On a happy note, my new baby: you know you want to visit me.

I just sold my soul to the devil...

I made my first trip to a German Super Walmart. Wow, was that crazy. I was pleasantly surprised, even though they did have Great Value products scattered throughout the store. I'm going to take a camera next time because I've already forgotten everything that we found funny. My bad.