Amazing...

I didn't think it was possibly, but I've done it. I gained 8 pounds in my 2 weeks in South Carolina. I know I had lots of fat and sugar, but seriously. Good thing I'll see the family next weekend. They'll know that I'm "healthy" and don't starve myself.

Thank you

To get back at Christine for naming me Capitol T, I spent her tax dollars drinking beer. And lots of it. I plan on continuing tomorrow and Thursday. So there.

Food: Dixie style

I got back about two hours ago from a meal of shrimp and grits, hushpuppies, and sweet tea. Nothing says southern cuisine like a glass full of sugar, deep fried lard, and a bowl of grits, gravy and seafood. I think the only thing missing was some type of BBQ. I feel like I'm going to die. I haven't moved in two hours and I have a headache. I've had deep thoughts I would have never thought possible.

Next week when I've returned to the north, I think I need to detox myself. Nothing but water and vegetables. Maybe then I won't feel like death as I do now on my diet of sugar and lard. Plus I can lose some of the extra 10 pounds I've put on this month.

Random HP TotD

The guy that's directing the next Harry Potter movie also directed Mona Lisa Smile. Wha? The darkest HP movie yet and this is who they come up with?

Sunscreen is always a good idea

I decided to become a real adult this weekend. I went on a mini-vacation by myself! I spent Friday wandering around Charleston, including a brief shopping excursion highlighted by a visit to the Puma store. I spent Saturday at the beach--it was fabulous. My tan is back and now I have an excuse when my family asks about it in 2 weeks when I'm home for a visit. I can't believe it's almost November and it's in the 80s here. I could get used to this... too bad I planned to go to Hilton Head this morning only to wake up to sunburned face/shoulders and a cold wave of 65 degrees. I really wish Columbia had something to do so I wouldn't have to resort to 2 hour trips to the coast.

I'm still not sure if I prefer going solo to traveling with someone else. It's great being able to decide where I want to go without having to deal with someone else's opinion, but then again it's not as fun seeing the mullet in front of you without someone to share it with. Plus I won't go to bars/clubs unless under special circumstances. This week has taught me that there's relatively nothing I won't do by myself--I mean I have no problem going to fancy restaurants by myself and I spent the afternoon of my birthday alone in a bar (this would be one of those special circumstances). I would swear that I have only done these things because I'm alone in SC, but I think it's stuff I might start doing in VA too. I mean if I wait around for people to do things with me, I might never get to do anything! It's time for the new Tara--Do you like all these deep thoughts because I'm old? :)

Stupidity grows on Palmetto trees...

and I want a taste! I guess I already did seeing as it's 3:15 and I've already been drunk once today. I've sobered up, but there's still hope for later tonight if I can find a strategically located bar close to my hotel. I don't think it would be good to drive tipsy in my government rented vehicle... Happy day!

The Name Game

I decided today (randomly) that I'm going to make it my job to convince my child-bearing friends to theme name their children. That seems to be something they like to do around here in the South. What would be more fun than having a house full of girls named Lily, Rose, Violet, and Petunia? Or perhaps April, May, June, and August? I haven't thought of a good boys theme yet, but maybe I will tomorrow while I'm spacing out in class. It's that or ponder unfinance requirements and installation budgets. Tough choice.

This message is primarily directly at Lisa, who is destined to have a household of 4-6 girls. Think about it.

Time Management

I'm convinced that people in SC don't have anywhere to go; therefore, they feel the need to drive 10 MPH under the speed limit. Perhaps they do this to save on gas or maybe it's just to drive people like me insane. I can't speculate. I like South Carolina. Really, I do. But seriously: could we work on the driving issue a little bit? I could see myself living in Charleston waiting for my first hurricane and bitching about the heat, but I can't take the driving. Gaa!

The South will rise again!

I have the immense pleasure of spending the next 2 weeks in the great state of South Carolina. I've already had great encounters with the locals and I've been here for less than 4 hours. Expect several posts this week, especially after my first solo mini-vacation to Charleston this weekend. Anyone who has been there--give me advice on where to go! I did touristy stuff last time, but I might hit up shopping and the beach this time. Maybe I'll even visit Hilton Head to catch a trust fund baby or are they only there during the summer?

Reasons I love SC:
1. I spotted my first mullet within two hours of arrival. That would have been great in itself... but then I saw a femullet within 30 minutes of it!!!

2. When going to fast food restaurants, the default combo drink is listed as sweet tea instead of coke. I'm on a mission to develop diabetes while I'm here.

3. The tables at most restaurant have rolls of paper towels instead of napkins. I thought it was only barbecue places, but I was mistaken.

Cherry Stems and Chrissy-C

"Columbus wasn't looking for America, my man, but that seems to have worked out for everybody." - Points to the first person who can ID the movie that came from. :)

Thank you, Christopher Columbus for finding America. This has provided us with another wonderful federal holiday. Not just any holiday, but a day where only the government is off. This means I don't have to work, but stores are still open awaiting my glorious arrival! I salute you, CC--I purchased a digital camera in your honor.

I also had a drink for you at the bar last night, since who doesn't want to get boozed up on a Sunday when they don't work Monday. Sadly I was the DD, so that was the only drink I had. Trisha let me down by not getting drunk, but I guess birthday girls can do whatever they want... :) There's always next time... All that sober time allowed me to work on my cherry stem skills. I'm suddenly reminded of last weekend's classic quotes from Mo Irma, my wonderful grandmother. This may explain why I'm the way I am...

"I’d like to learn to tie cherry stems with my tongue." – Tara
"Oh yeah, that’ll help you find Mr. Right real quick." – Mo

5 minutes later...

"Would you like to do this, Tara? Bob for sausages?" - Mo on the retrieval of Italian sausage from spaghetti sauce

Juilue!

My roommate is one crazy hooker. If you don't believe me, check out Julie's blog. Reasons she was cool this week:

1. In J-language, Julie = Juilue. She misspelled her name, not once, but TWICE at the AUSA convention. I'm sure many young soldiers found their gaze lingering around her chest trying to figure out what her name was.

2. She has a dumbass boyfriend. In the world of Tara, this is a compliment. That kid will do anything stupid that you ask him to do (see evidence below). It's like a personal challenge for me to find off the wall things that challenge him. Julie's MOMMY tendency makes this even better! I just sit back and egg him on while Momma-J swats at his hand with a ruler. Threats to spank him have the opposite effect of what she intended, so she doesn't so that as much anymore...

3. She makes remarks that are mean and blunt even for me. Things like "if she wasn't built like a bear..." No one else will get that, but it's better this way. :)

Happy Birthday, Lord Thomas!

I have to take the opportunity to wish Lord Thomas a joyous 24th birthday. I almost started to cry when I realized he was no longer my little boy, but as he informed me: he would have been an adult 7 years ago in the wizard world. I don't think I can have a post without some kind of shameless Harry Potter reference (*cough* Pappy Potter *cough*). I'm sure his birthday won't be the same without me there to get him drunk, but what can you do. Oh wait, I've never seen him drunk. By phone, sure, but not in person. Sad.

When he asked me how I felt when I turned 24 (geez, it wasn't that long ago!), I said it was a lot like how he felt when Purdue was getting bitchkicked by Notre Dame last weekend. He said that was probably true, except that when you turn 24, you don't say "there's always that vodka in the back seat" like he did by the 2nd quarter of the game. I guess Sue's timing wasn't that bad afterall. :)